Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i need some magic done to my vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
