The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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