WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
