your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
