I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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