the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
People with herpes should wear stickers.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
