You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
