Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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