During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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