ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize