Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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