i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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