have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
