i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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