You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
