I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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