You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
