Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
