just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
