why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
