Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
