recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
