If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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