she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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