I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
