The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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