I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
