What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
