If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
