she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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