yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
