Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
