I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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