That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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