He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize