Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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