Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink