I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off