Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count

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  (908): his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count http://tfl.nu/l83b
  Replies (39) Good night (996) Bad night (3163)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.

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  (432): Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite. http://tfl.nu/cdg2
  Replies (49) Good night (7256) Bad night (1805)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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  (203): I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus. http://tfl.nu/scm8
  Replies (17) Good night (7785) Bad night (1296)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6453) Bad night (1113)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"

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  (715): You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts" http://tfl.nu/ong1
  Replies (12) Good night (2008) Bad night (5288)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

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  (518): Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis http://tfl.nu/kplw
  Replies (18) Good night (7250) Bad night (1315)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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  (217): The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left http://tfl.nu/fjkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2388) Bad night (1183)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  As long as you're not dating white guys again.

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  (801): As long as you're not dating white guys again. http://tfl.nu/e0lw
  Replies (111) Good night (2079) Bad night (4464)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?

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  (518): i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone? http://tfl.nu/iu7h
  Replies (11) Good night (1443) Bad night (2677)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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  (401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l
  Replies (11) Good night (1012) Bad night (2435)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.

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  (405): I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed. http://tfl.nu/abj9
  Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (4840)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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  (317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd
  Replies (7) Good night (888) Bad night (1695)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Happy Fourth.

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  (843): I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night... (843): Happy Fourth. http://tfl.nu/0uin
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!

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  (714): I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really! http://tfl.nu/ol8j
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.

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  (810): I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me. (1-810): All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one. http://tfl.nu/rkvc
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (320)

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