If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys