I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth