A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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