unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
