belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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