Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
