i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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