used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
