I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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