You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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