if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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