Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
