Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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