I'm eating all of the evidence.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
