He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
