I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
