How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
