Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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