Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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