I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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