I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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