Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
