last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
