Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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